My personal growth with creative confidence has been something that ha benefited me tremendously. Prior to this semester I have been a very pragmatic and straightforward person who did not look to explore unusual solutions. Not to say that creativity can not lead to practical solutions and ideas but I would use methods and routines that I have always used. As I have practiced and improved my own creativity I have been able to find more productive means of completing personal goals such as doing things outside of my comfort zone. I have found myself solving old problems with new solutions that I have been far more effective than previous solutions.
Contrary to my belief early on in the semester I am as creative as any person. The issue was not in my levels of creativity but properly directing it to things that I was doing in my life. I realized that even though I draw only with stick figures and can’t write music it does not mean I am not a creative person. I can be a creative person by simply approaching problems with a more open mind and look for alternatives with a design attitude. When we were sent home because of COVID-19 I was sad to say goodbye to my friends and unsure what I was going to do while stuck in my house. Prior to realizing my creative capabilities I would have been satisfied with playing video games and sitting around my house. However, I realized that there will not be another opportunity for me to do whatever I want (within the bounds of isolation). I have looked at goals that I have put off for myself for years and now have all the time in the world to accomplish them.
A habit that comes naturally to me is the child eye’s. I find that I am a pretty observant person and I am always aware of my surroundings. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while- you could miss it”. I find those words to be scarily true especially during times like these. As I’m sitting in my living room living a life that feels like the movie Groundhog’s Day I think about all the fun I have had at Bucknell and in high school and how quick it has gone by. I get notifications from Snapchat of memories of the seemingly insignificant moments that I recorded over the years that I would forget had I not saved them. Times like when my friend and I recorded us smacking my other friend with a handful of peanut butter while he was sleeping would be forgotten to us.
I need to work on failing forward because I find myself disheartened when I am not automatically good at something. I know that not everything can come naturally and you need to work on it to improve but I still find myself doubting the process. I need to continue to realize that hard work and dedication are needed to be successful. When I work on something if I struggle to do something successfully the first time I will drop it and say that I will come back to it later. As time goes on I need to stick through the phase where I struggle with whatever I am doing so that I can reach the end goal . A way I can improve this habit is by continuously putting myself in unfamiliar situations that I have avoided. An example of this is wake boarding which a number of my friends since I live near a large river. I have always avoided actually wake boarding choosing to sit in the boat and talk. I have tried on numerous of occasions to wake board but have find myself going face first into the water after a couple minutes on the board. It is something that I have wanted to be good at but I grew tired of the face plants quickly. I know that I can only get better by going through this struggle but I need to not get frustrated and commit to getting better.